CR Tunnel Ultra

Thursday March 5th, 2026

So I signed up again for a little tunnel. I'd already been there in 2021, 2024, 2025.

This year, lots of French men and women on the start line.

In no particular order: Lenaïc, Corinne, Fabrice, Philippe, and the "almost French" Giacomo, who is Italian but lives in England and speaks perfect French.

I came alone, but Phil and I had booked the same hotel, so we got to know each other over a beer on the first evening and kept each other company at breakfast. His story is interesting, has been hanging out pretty much everywhere in the wild wild world — it's not every day you meet a guy who has done a competition in North Korea. I love the people you meet at races, there's always something special about them. You need to be a little special to sign up for a 200 (official...) mile race. In a tunnel.

I spend Thursday on a short walk along the canal that passes above Bath. The many barges intrigue me. Who lives in there? It gives the impression of a happy band of beatniks; at any rate, no doubt, it's "alternative" housing. On Valérie's advice I walk along the canal up to a restaurant. I sit down and devour, not my plate, but my book — the complete works of Lovecraft. I wait, desperately, for someone to come take my order. Maybe I was supposed to order at the bar... Anyway, after an hour I throw in the towel and quietly head back to town. A good rest day, the calm before the storm.

Friday March 6th, 2026

Finally, the start.

Nice weather, the toilets are still — invariably — set up in the middle of a puddle. Nothing's moved since last year. We, the runners, show the ravages of time, but the Tunnel itself looks eternally young. Or almost. The paint could use a refresh. And the music halfway through has definitely vanished... (see 2021 race report).

As usual, I start at the back of the pack, walking the first miles. Double benefit: first, I let my body slowly wake up, no sudden moves, heart rate climbs gently. Second, it ensures I'm not "racing". I'm immediately out of the real race, no pressure; within an hour or two all the serious participants have already put a lap or more on me. That lets me start in a state of complete zen — no pressure, no stress, just a little jog in the tunnel, nothing too nasty.

I've often wondered whether I could optimize by starting harder. Possibly a lap or two that could make the difference. But I have a deep conviction that these easy starts help me — precisely — be more efficient toward the end.

But anyway, off we go!

Lalala...

So this year I innovate — still on Valérie's advice — I decide to count laps by singing tunes that start with a letter of the alphabet. A variant of that schoolyard game, the "baccalauréat". The principle is simple:

lap 1: a song whose title starts with the letter "A"
lap 2: a song whose title starts with the letter "B"
...
lap 26: a song whose title starts with the letter "Z"

So after 4 alphabets minus 4 letters, you reach 100, and that's the end.

Let me detail:

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ -> laps 1-26
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ -> laps 27-52
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ -> laps 53-78
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUV -> laps 79-100

Easy to remember: at the V of the 4th alphabet, you're done!

The advantage of this technique is that over a single lap (somewhere between 25 and 40 minutes...) it's pretty easy to install an "A-letter logic" or an "X-letter logic". Hard to get it wrong, it sticks in the mind — at least in mine — and it massively cuts counting errors. And besides, it keeps you busy.

But... you might ask, what's the song? Spoiler, lots of them are French-culture related, but not only. Uncle Sam had his influence all over the world.

Here goes:

A -> no hesitation, À la queue-leu-leu. Or maybe Allumer le feu. That's two songs, but in fanfare the V4 actually does a great mashup of the two. You can try it — swap the lyrics of those two hits (because they ARE hits!) and it works a treat. À la queuuuuuue-leu-leu! À la queuuuuuuue-leu-leu! Or the other way around: a-a-allumez feu! A-a-allumez le feu! Toward the end I sometimes swapped in A.I.E. (A Mwen La) by Compagnie Créole.
B -> tricky one. I would have liked to use Born to be alive by Patrick Hernandez. But... *B*orn to be *A*live. There's an A in the title, too close to B, asking for trouble... So I aim instead at Besame Mucho — that one works. There's an M in there, but M is very far from B, no confusion possible. Dalida's disco version is excellent.
C -> Come Together by the Beatles. Come together, but of course — that's exactly what we did, the runners. We came, together, to put ourselves through it in the Tunnel.
D -> Don't let me down by the Beatles. That's a double-D: in "don't" and in "down". And English pop is perfect for listening to in England.
E -> Eleanor Rigby — English pop again. "Aaaaah look at all the lonely people...". Right on the mood.
F -> Fame. I love the "I'm gonna live forever". Technically this singer is dead, but her music keeps her with us. Another good pick: Faisons l'amour. My fanfare friends will appreciate.
G -> Get back. So fitting for a race where you do laps coming back to the start.
H -> Hey Jude would have been great but... J too close to H, confusion risk. I have to find something else. So it's Help, flawless, full of energy, and a little moral or humility lesson "and I do appreciate you being round". But Hegoak works very well too! And it happens to be an emblematic song sung by L'UT en Choeur, where I sing bass.
I -> Isidore — I don't know why this cartoon theme jumped to my ears like an obvious choice.
J -> J'aime regarder les filles. Now, proximity with F, not that far off, but beyond the lyrics being "not very woke", I find this tune fits perfectly with a steady endurance-running rhythm — those "J'aime" rebounds are exactly what I need. And the "chest swelling with the pleasure of being alive", even if it barely hides an adolescent fantasy, keeps me moving — and it's not against the race regulations!
K -> Kalimba de Luna no hesitation. Yes, L is right after K. But it's the exception that proves the rule, impossible to mistake this Boney M hit — it's a "K song".
L -> Life is life lala, lalala.
M -> Macumba — you cannot stop running when you hear that. Not possible. Illegal. But Michèle by Gérard Lenormand works too. It's also my mother's first name.
N -> Na na na — I don't know why, but this specific song surfaced in my memory. Let's be honest, that's three N's for the price of one.
O -> Obladi-oblada — have you noticed how many Beatles hits are in here? Two reasons: 1) I listened to the Red and Blue albums to death as a kid (those who don't know them — catch up on your homework...) and 2) hey, after all, this is an English tunnel!
P -> Paperback Writer. The rebounds on this tune are insane. Vocals, guitar, drums. Masterful. A pop lesson. Apparently somebody once asked John Lennon what he thought of French rock. He's said to have replied "It's like English wine". Right, everyone's dressed for winter!
Q -> Qui c'est celui-là — thanks to Pierre Vassiliu for blessing us with this gem; without him I didn't have many options... "Et puis sa bagnooooole les gars..."
R -> Rasmus — well, the song is called "In the shadow" so there's S, and S is very close to R. But for me, this is the Rasmus hit, and even though there are two S's in Rasmus, it's an R song. I've decided, no debate.
S -> Sea, sex and Love. There's a typo in the title — help your friends spot it.
T -> Tata Yoyo — T is far enough from Y? Yes.
U -> Une petite perle — there may have been other options, but this one is, fittingly, a pearl.
V -> Madame Valérie — well of course, what did you expect? Knowing this is my wife's first name. Alternate choice: Vanina. Punchy as you like.
W -> Wake up, Wake up, Wake up. You get the idea?
X -> Trans-X — okay, here it's the band that contains the letter X, not the title. But it counts anyway.
Y -> Yellow Submarine — last hurrah for the Beatles, they monopolized my hit parade of Tunnel 2026, declared winners all categories.
Z -> Zobi la mouche — that's me, do you recognize me?

There you go, you know everything about my playlist. I sing in my head, mind you — I don't inflict this on my fellow runners.

And it's not always so easy to find the right idea for the current lap. And above all, above all, don't start thinking about letter D while you're still on letter C. That's the best way to muddle yourself. More generally, no point worrying about tomorrow's troubles — today's troubles are usually enough.

And so while all those brave people fight it out over who'll be ahead or behind, who'll finish, who'll quit, I just do my laps.

That's called "staying in your bubble".

Sunday March 8th, 2026

In the early morning of the second night, I take a look at the standings.

The day before I was 5th, but today, Sunday, everyone has vanished out in front, drops for various reasons ranging from injury, to "out of energy", through "sick-of-the-tunnel".

I'm shoulder to shoulder with the guy in second place.

I decide to cruise ahead and create a security margin.

The night, as expected, was complicated. I had to take a few micro-naps, but on the whole, nothing to report. It was tough, I sometimes bumped the walls a little, but in the end the miles are there, that's what matters.

Even in the tunnel, the fact that they turn the lights back on early in the morning, plus the fact that you see daylight — every now and then — at the 1-mile mark, makes a difference. Add the biological clock that says hey, time to wake up, and I find the energy to put one or two laps on the runner behind me. My initial goal was to "just finish" with no particular hopes on the ranking, but well, if I can hold on to a win I'm not going to refuse it...

Two or three laps gives me time to see things coming — if the guy decides to charge back up, I'll notice. But no battle on the horizon, the race ends quietly, I'm going for my 4th finish, not my best time, but again, if the fastest wanted to come past me, the race was fully open, no blockers.

Epilogue

The French folks on site kindly drive me back into town, sparing me having to call — and especially wait for — an Uber. And the adventure ends over a good beer. They haven't completed the race but I hope, and think, they'll keep a positive image of these underground adventures.

PS: I'm not done with my English adventures, the rest at the Bridge.