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Quoting Gavin: "I wrote a liquid war fanfic some time ago [...] I wrote it after a friend claimed that there wasn't any liquid war fanfic because it wasn't possible."

So here it is, a Liquid War fanfic, enjoy! (and special thanks to Gavin)

The Battle of Emberlificoted


The General presided over his massing army in his seat, or rather hovering ring, of power. It dipped slightly as he flew low over his troops marching through the viscous marsh-like terrain. They were like children: obedient, loyal, and they ate a lot.

Glancing at the status panel mounted in front of him he grimaced; the other five armies: Yellow, Green, Orange, Turquoise, and, of course, Red, were also readying armies of a similar size to his own. His violet clones would have to fight hard and eat well to win this day.

Today would not be a battle of luck, the General mused, it would be a battle of tactics, of alliances, and of betrayal. Every clone was identical - that was the general idea behind clones - and the terrain seemed strangely symmetrical; it would not give advantage to any of the six armies amassed today. Glancing at the hologram of the battlefield projected in front of him the General noted that he would have to move quickly, Orange and Yellow were too close for comfort, though fortunately Baron Red's army of eponymous coloured clones was the furthest.

General Violet's fingertips were sweaty even before they touched the four main control keys in front of him. They were labeled 'W', 'A', 'D', and, of course, the full retreat button - very useful for misleading foes and ambushing them as they pursued - 'S'. The keys were arrange in a roughly equilateral triangular pattern; with 'S' forming the base and being adjacent to both 'A' and 'D', 'W' formed the tip of the triangle.

A long breath left his parched lips as at last he made his move.


"Dammit!" he screamed moments later. He had misjudged Captain Yellow and Commander Orange; he had expected one at least to attack immediately, one he could have handled. They were working together - foiling his attempt to shoot between them to near the center of the battlefield to gain a better vantage point. Yellow had shot down towards him, cutting off his advance, and now Orange had sealed his escape route. "It's not over yet" muttered the General. He opened a voice channel with Commander Orange:

"Very clever. Flawed, but still clever."

"Flawed?" came the reply.

"Yes flawed, when the good Captain is finished devouring my army who do you think he will turn to next?", bluffed the General - his hands worked quickly as he manoeuvred his hovering control ring, all that his troops ever saw of him, carefully towards the weakest section of his attackers. If he could just break out a few units he could soon turn the tide against both Yellow and Orange.

"We have an alliance..." Orange's voice was unsure now.

Time for some sarcasm to through her even more off balance, thought the General,

"I gathered", he spoke softly, slowly, and with too much meaning. Then closing the channel he turned his attention back to his escape.


"Yes!" wooped the ecstatic figure of the General. Fifty or so of his troops had broken free undetected and were even now working their way cautiously towards the camps of the Yellow army, only the front lines were still actively fighting; this opening gambit of Yellow and Orange had turned into a stale siege and Yellow's army had pitched tent.

General Violet steered his hovering guidance ring to the center of the Yellow camp. His troops struck, both those who had got behind the lines and those who were still besieged. Yellow reacted too slowly and suddenly found that her army, was shrinking back from the onslaught. There was nowhere to run to, and bye now her only ally - Commander Orange - had abandoned her to her fate; he was too busy engaging Sir. Turquoise, who had managed to escape from the slaughter that the Baron had caused to the Turquoise ranks and was even now valiantly attacking the flanks of the Orange troops.

A glance at the status panel showed that Yellow's life force was fading quickly: 8%, 3%, 1%, Gone.

The General smiled, he always enjoyed getting the first kill, and by now his armies life force had grown and his clones had replicated. With his, now, formidable fighting force it was no problem to engulf both Sir. Turquoise and Commander Orange's brawling armies and annihilate them. Once again his army grew in size and power. Now if only the Baron didn't notice that..., thought the General.


"Too late!" yelped the General, now thrown into panic, as he saw the approaching Baron. His army had also grown in size and power - having fatally injured the Turquoise army within the opening moments of the battle, and having finally managed to catch the elusive fleeing form of, or what remained of, Emperor Green.

Gripping the controls harder the General thought quickly, his army doesn't so completely outnumber me that this is already over, however unless I can cause him to make a mistake that allows me to take the upper hand then I will inevitably lose. Maybe I can...

This thought was terminated and replaced by another as the Baron's angry red troops broke through the undergrowth that had covered their movements and started to surround the General's army. The thought that now throbbed through the panic-stricken mind of General Violet was simply 'Run!'.

Even as he signaled the retreat and made for what seemed to be the only possible means of escape the Baron's blood red control ring appeared at the opening. The General knew it was over, even before the host of red beings appeared at the opening.

There was no escape. His life force was almost depleted and he was surrounded. Then it was that the Baron decided to communicate:

"Too bad. It was a good game"

The General blinked, gaped, and was generally gobsmacked. Just before his life force completely failed and his own weary eyes closed in defeat he snarled,

"What!? This is not a game!" were the General's dying words.

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Copyright © 2005 Christian Mauduit. Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts.
Updated on Sun May 29 2005.